two things

“People smile and tell me I’m the lucky one, and we’ve just begun, Think I’m gonna have a son. He will be like she and me, as free as a dove, conceived in love, sun is gonna shine above.” -KL*

(Photo via A Cup of Jo)

Two things happened this weekend. First, we chose our son’s full name. After my dream last week, his first name made perfect sense and the rest of our list just disappeared. Now I can’t stop myself from giggling and calling him by his name every chance I get. I love this little boy so much already.

Second, I felt a serious transition in my own thinking. For the last nine months, my emotions have gone from really scared to moderately scared. We were as ready as we could be as a couple to be parents when we started trying to have a baby. But once I found out I was pregnant, I became really nervous. What do I do with a real live baby? What was I thinking when I assumed I could raise another human being? Don’t get me wrong, I was excited. But I would lying if I said I hadn’t thought about my own upbringing and how I would bring those emotions, anxieties, and memories into my parenting. My husband is such an amazing partner and really helped me work through my anxiety. He reassured me that once we meet him, we will only be looking forward, not back. I am sure that the years ahead of me are going to be filled with uncertainty and even guilt. But mostly, they are going to be filled with love. Over the weekend, as I was floating in the pool trying to get my precious babe to turn, I truly felt weightless. I have a clean slate with my child and together, with my husband, will build our home for our family. We will create a home filled with warmth, adventure, open minds, and lots of love. All of my anxiety turned into a peaceful feeling and the transition feels amazing. We are ready. Can’t wait to meet you baby J.**

*I am an unapologetic Kenny Loggins fan. I met him once when I was 13 after one of his concerts in Boston. He told me I had a beautiful name and I have been smitten ever since.

**Name hint 😉


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